If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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