until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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