I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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