my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
