Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
