I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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