If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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