I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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