I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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