Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
