Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
