I'm really into asian looking animals
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my being single is dangerous.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
