I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
