; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
