yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
