Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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