is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
