My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sorry about my life...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
