Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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