When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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