i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
