Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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