you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
