i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
