So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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