Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
