Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
