his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
