walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Panties = found
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