new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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