Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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