i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
