More tranny stories later!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
