You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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