TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
