Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
