I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Green mimosas i think yes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
