Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
