never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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