You made me cry and you don't even care
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
