It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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