you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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