see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
