And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
