is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
