wanna go halves on a baby?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
