all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
