so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
