i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
