oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
