oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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